Enlightenment
by Blade Quill
Summary: Choices are made on the day of Zuko's coronation, and sometimes, enlightenment is just the simple truth at hand. Zutara. AU of the final moments of the Book 3 Finale.


"Stay still," admonished Katara as she healed the area around the star-shaped scar.

Zuko winced in pain and sweat gathered on his brows. "I thought it was supposed to hurt less," he gritted out.

Katara shot him a glare. "The nerves around the scar are still tender," she said, moving her hands in soothing healing motions. "It will be another day until you won't feel pain when I'm healing you." Her glare softened and she looked guiltily at his scar. "Zuko…"

"Don't," said Zuko, stopping her apology in its path. "I told you. You don't have to apologise, Katara. You saved my life."

"You saved mine," she said, looking away.

Zuko looked a little confused as she finished healing him. "Katara, is something wrong?" he asked.

Katara turned to him and smiled, though it didn't reach her eyes. "No," she said. "Sit up, so I can bandage you."

"I can do that myself," said Zuko.

"Don't be stupid," said Katara, picking up a clean roll of bandages. "I'm the healer, not you."

Zuko smiled but didn't argue as she began to bandage him. Apart from his chest, his side had also been injured when he'd fallen after taking the hit of Azula's lightning, leaving him with bruised ribs and shoulder. He pondered her words and watched the concentration on her face with some concern. She caught his eyes on her and smiled. Zuko felt the back of his neck get warm and he hastily lowered his gaze, heart pounding in his chest.

No, no, no, no. This was not supposed to happen. He thought he had moved past this, buried the memory deep within the recesses of his mind, never to be brought up again. He screwed his eyes shut and tried to force the images of the crystal caves from his mind, but it was of no use. He was standing before Katara showing him the vial of spirit water, telling him she could heal his eye. Her fingers touched his scar, and Zuko didn't even flinch as he looked at the compassion in the depths of her blue eyes.

"Zuko," said Katara, and Zuko's eyes sprang open. Katara's face swam into his view, the look so eerily familiar to the day in the caves, yet more steadfast and concerned than he had ever seen her. "Does it hurt somewhere else?" she asked, looking over him frantically.

"No," he said, trying to smile. "I just…I'm just nervous about today."

He was equally relieved and ashamed when she believed his lie. "You'll be fine, Zuko," she said, comfortingly. "Everyone supports you and they believe in you." She finished bandaging him and then knelt in front of him so that their eyes were level. "I'm not going to lie. The days ahead are going to be the most difficult yet, but we can all do it together. You are not alone in this."

She smiled widely and placed her hand comfortingly on his shoulder. Zuko returned her smile and covered her hand with his. "Thank you, Katara," he said. "For everything."

Katara grinned and stood up. "Now, get dressed and march out there, Fire Lord," she said. "The world is waiting for you."

She turned away to pack up her supplies and Zuko felt his heart flip in his chest. He closed his eyes briefly and called on every bit of peace in his soul to slow his heart. He felt tears well in his eyes, knowing that the secret would be his burden to bear, as would the pain. His eyes opened as Katara turned to leave and he plastered on a smile to wave goodbye to Katara.

After she had left, Zuko hung his head and blinked his tears away. It was so stupid to be crying over it, especially since there never had been anything to cry over, really. Perhaps in a different world and a different life, he would have told her just how much she meant to him and asked her to give him the honour of spending the rest of their lives together. But some things were just never meant to be.

He stood up and started getting dressed, wincing at the pain of putting his shirt on.

"Need some help?" he heard behind him, and he jumped a little.

"Mai," he said, shocked at the sight of her leaning against his doorway. "You're okay." Despite the mess of feelings in his heart, he truly was glad to see that she was unharmed and well.

She smiled as she walked up to him. "My uncle owed me," she said, helping him put his shirt on. "I was here a while ago, but I waited until you were done being healed."

"Oh," said Zuko, hoping she hadn't seen what he feared she might have.

Mai's eyes narrowed for a moment but then she smiled a little and shook her head. "Zuko, it's okay," she said, resting a hand on his shoulder. "I saw it with my own eyes. You like her."

Zuko's eyes went wide. "No, no, no, it isn't like that," he said, at once. Mai's mouth closed in a straight lie, and Zuko sighed. "I mean, it's not…I…Mai…"

"Zuko," interrupted Mai. "I'm not angry."

Zuko stopped and stared at her. "You're not?" he asked, surprised.

"Believe it or not, Azula did me a favour by throwing me in jail," shrugged Mai, crossing her arms and looking out of the window. "Don't get me wrong, my feelings for you gave me the courage to stand up to her. But being caged up in a cell made me realise that it had been as much about me as it had been about you." She turned to look at him, and Zuko was shocked to see a light in her eyes that he'd never seen before. "I love you, Zuko, and I'll always love you. But this time, I'm breaking up with you."

"What?" asked Zuko, taken aback.

Mai smiled at him, the light in her eyes brighter. "I spent my entire life doing what was asked of me. First by my mother, and then by Azula. And along the way, I lost myself. You accepted me for who I am, and I am so grateful for that. But it's not fair for either of us to settle for acceptance. You became the person you are today of your own volition." She stopped and looked away briefly. "I need…I need to do that too. I need to know who I am, Zuko, when I'm not merely bowing to my mother's or Azula's wishes."

Zuko stared at her in awe. "Mai," he said. "I-I don't know what to say."

Mai looked at him. "Just say that you do not begrudge me that," she said. "That you won't hold any anger in your heart for my decision to leave."

"I would never," he said sincerely. "I am so proud of you, Mai. And I'm deeply sorry for everything I have put you through."

"Thank you, Zuko," she said, bowing her head in thanks. "Your words mean more than you know." She hugged him and Zuko returned the embrace with a smile. "If your waterbender can't see the obvious, then she's the one missing out," murmured Mai.

Zuko shook his head as they pulled away. "It's not as simple," he said.

"It never is," said Mai. "But it is an era of new beginnings." She turned to leave and then glanced back. "Besides, she's not the only one missing the obvious."

Zuko blushed as Mai laughed and left. He felt his heart swell with affection for her, knowing that while their relationship had changed drastically, he would forever consider her one of his best friends in this world. He thought about her words of missing the obvious and felt an impossible spark of hope in his mind at the thought of Katara possibly…no, he shook his head and frowned. He knew where Katara's heart lay, and it wasn't with him.

He thought of that stupid play back on Ember Island, and scowled as he finished getting dressed. Destiny had a funny way of working out, and while he knew what his heart desired, he knew he could never get what he wanted.

And it was just something he would always have to live with. Perhaps, in time, it wouldn't hurt so much. For now, he stamped the pain down and prepared for his coronation. The world needed him.

* * *

Aang sat and meditated while he waited for Zuko. The last day or two had been a flurry of activity, and it was the first moment he'd had to himself to simply process everything that had happened in the last year. He knew now why they said the Avatar brought balance to world. The thought brought him great peace, but it was tinged by sadness.

In the moments of his Avatar state, Aang had come to realise the true weight of the mantle. It went beyond mastering all four elements, or communing with the spirit world. The Avatar state was something he now carried within him, and it wasn't a mere defence mechanism that saved him when he needed. It had taken the lion turtle's touch to show him what even his previous lives had failed to tell him.

True enlightenment didn't come from breaking free of earthly bonds, nor did it come from clinging to bonds beyond control. Enlightenment came from seeing the truth, even if it was a truth they did not wish to see. His past lives had felt that the only way was to kill Fire Lord Ozai, and they refused to see any other side to it. It had been Aang's duty to resist the power of the Avatar state and show the truth of his actions to the Fire Lord, and to his past lives.

But then again, Aang had made the same mistake by refusing to see another important truth because he hadn't wanted to. Shame crept into his heart when he recalled his actions on Ember Island towards Katara. He hadn't had a moment alone with her properly but he knew that his first course of action would be to beg her forgiveness for his unthinkably childish act.

At the time, he had been too caught up in his own feelings and needs to think of her words and the truth even she didn't know properly. But now he knew what she had meant when she'd said she was confused. It broke his heart because he finally understood her confusion and it filled him with great sadness because he knew what he would have to do next.

"Aang," he heard and opened his eyes to see Zuko.

"Hello, Zuko," said Aang, standing up.

Zuko smiled in slight wonder. "I can't believe a year ago my mission in life was to capture the Avatar, and here we are now," he said.

Aang smiled back. "Destiny is a funny thing," he said.

His smile wavered and Zuko nodded. "It definitely is," he said. "Ready?" he asked.

"Zuko, wait," said Aang, and Zuko looked at him curiously. Aang drew a breath and held it for a moment before releasing it slowly. "Follow your heart, Zuko."

He stared at him in confusion. "Aang, what are you…?"

"Zuko," interrupted Aang. "If the last year has taught me anything, it is to see the truth of things, even when you don't want to. It is a new day, and a new beginning. And I finally have the clarity to see what I should have known already. You have to do the same."

Zuko looked down for a moment. "I thought you loved her," he said in a small voice.

Aang lowered his gaze. "I do," he confessed. "So much."

"Then why?" asked Zuko, getting angry.

"It isn't just about me," snapped Aang, before his anger quieted. "I kissed her. On Ember Island, I kissed her."

Zuko stared at him, wondering why he was telling him that.

Aang shook his head. "I was so jealous at the idea that you and Katara could possibly…so I demanded to know her feelings," said Aang ashamedly. "And she told me that she was confused."

Zuko's heart jumped, and he felt guilty for the hope that bloomed into his mind at the thought.

"She was standing there, so honest with her words, and I tarnished it by kissing her," said Aang, looking utterly ashamed.

Zuko looked away, and then took a deep breath. "Just because she was confused does not mean she doesn't…love you," he said, words hurting him as they passed his lips.

Aang looked up at Zuko and smiled sadly. "You are a good friend, Zuko," he said. "But I know now where Katara's heart lies, whether she does or not. I understood the moment I saw her again after defeating Ozai."

Zuko frowned, knowing he had been in a deep, healing coma for this part. Aang sighed. "She was sitting by your bedside, her hand resting on your chest. And she kept repeating the same words over and over again."

"What did she say?" asked Zuko curiously.

"That is not for me to share," said Aang firmly. "All I know is that despite my feelings, the time has come for Katara and I to part ways."

"Have you told her that?" asked Zuko, finding himself torn between being ecstatic at the prospect of Katara's feelings and sorrowful at Aang's pain.

Aang shook his head. "I'll tell her when we get to Ba Sing Se," he said. "I don't think there will be time before that."

Zuko nodded. "Aang, I-"

"It's alright, Zuko," said Aang, and there was a glint of determination in his young eyes that shone with wisdom far beyond his years. "Come on, they are waiting for us. The Fire Lord and the Avatar. Joining forces to rebuild our world."

Zuko grinned at him, and in an unprecedented move, grabbed Aang in a hug. Aang looked delighted and hugged him back happily. Moments later, they stepped out side by side, ready to take on the world.

* * *

Katara felt a little silly in the pale green dress. Master Pakku had given it to her, claiming it to be her gift for being his best pupil and his new granddaughter. For some reason, the Earth kingdom colours didn't feel as odd as she would have thought. After being all over the world, she was beginning to appreciate the beauty in their differences.

Everyone was in Iroh's tea shop, laughing and enjoying these rare moments of quiet before their new lives would sweep them up in a storm. Katara smiled as Sokka sat and painted Suki and Toph, who were laughing at his attempts. Ty Lee was looking over his shoulder and giving him tips, but it was hard to tell how much of it was really helpful. Iroh sat with the members of the White Lotus, the older men engaged in quiet conversation. Zuko had shed his Fire Lord's robes and crown and was wearing simple Earth kingdom robes to serve tea to everyone. It amused Katara to no end when she envisioned anyone outside of their group seeing the Fire Lord serving tea to the Avatar and a bunch of warriors and peasants from different kingdoms.

There was a smile of contentment on Zuko's face, which Katara had not expected, considering that Mai wasn't here. When she had asked him, he had merely smiled and said Mai had left to find her own path. She hadn't asked him what she'd really wanted to, and he hadn't divulged any more information. Katara rubbed the fabric of her dress between her fingers, the feeling of confusion intensifying in her mind. She was still standing there when Aang approached her.

Katara's heart sank, and she realised that it was the moment of truth. Aang's feelings for her had been made clear over and over, and now, she no longer had the war as a convenient excuse to hide behind. Aang led her to the balcony, away from the others, and Katara was beginning to feel faint with worry. The decision she would make in this moment would be of grave importance, not just to her, but to the entire world.

To her surprise, Aang went to his knees before her and bowed his head. "Sifu Katara," he intoned seriously. "I must beg your forgiveness for my actions towards you on Ember Island."

"Aang, what-?" Katara began to ask in shock, before it sunk in. She stared at him, wondering if he really was apologising for what she thought he was. She stayed silent as Aang raised his head and held her gaze.

"I put my feelings ahead of your own, and I give you my word as the Avatar and as your friend, that I will never do that again," he said.

Katara smiled, feeling tears gathering in her eyes. "Thank you, Aang," she said.

Aang smiled back and stood up. "Katara," he said, his voice far less formal now. "I know you know of my feelings towards you."

Katara looked down and nodded, feeling the momentary happiness seep out of her.

"Katara," said Aang, again, and waited for her to look up. "I realise now that your feelings towards me are not the same that I have for you."

Shock coloured Katara's features and she opened her mouth to deny it, before clicking it shut. She couldn't lie to him. "I am so sorry, Aang," she said instead. "I love you. I do. But I wish for you to find happiness with someone who can love you just as deeply as you love them. Anything else would be obscene."

Aang's eyes glimmered with tears and he bowed to her. "It's alright, Katara. I understand," he said. "I hope I can always rely on you for your strength and wisdom."

Katara decided forgo formality and grabbed him in a tight hug. "Of course, Aang," she said. "I would not have it any other way."

* * *

Zuko approached Katara long after everyone had gone to bed. She was still in her Earth kingdom dress, sitting on the steps of the Jasmine Dragon as she looked up at the stars. The air around them was still when Zuko sat down next to her.

"Can't sleep?" he asked.

She didn't look away from the stars. "It's too early for me," she said. "It's early for everyone, for that matter."

"We set out at dawn tomorrow," Zuko pointed out. "I assume everyone just wants to get as much rest as they can."

Katara hummed in agreement and looked at him. "Are you ready for what comes next?" she asked.

He chuckled and shook his head. "How do we undo a hundred years of hatred, pain and war?" he asked.

Katara smiled and turned back to the stars. "At least you know what you must do, even if you don't know how," she said.

"You have many options," said Zuko carefully, noting the melancholy in her voice. "You could return to the water tribe with your father and Sokka. You could stay in Ba Sing Se with Toph and King Kuei. You can even go to Kyoshi Island with Suki and Ty Lee. Or…"

"Or?" she asked, piercing him with her gaze.

Zuko swallowed but then spoke his next words. "Or you could return to the Fire Nation with Aang and I," he said.

Katara looked surprised at his directness. "Aang and I…"

"I know," said Zuko, having realised that Aang had kept his word when he'd seen them step out onto the balcony and then return with tears in their eyes. "He…he told me before the coronation that he was going to speak with you."

Katara nodded, seemingly unsurprised at that. "It's the right thing to do," she said. "Settling for someone like that…we would have both only been unhappy in the end."

"Funnily enough, you are not the first person to say that to me," said Zuko, remembering Mai's parting words.

"Mai?" guessed Katara easily.

Zuko nodded, and they sat in silence for a few minutes. "She told me something else," said Zuko, steeling himself.

Katara turned towards him curiously. "What?" she asked.

Zuko held her gaze with his and took a deep breath. "That I like you," he said.

Katara looked startled and she laughed breathlessly. "I hope so," she said, trying not to read too much into his words.

"No," he said, not letting the misunderstanding set in.

Katara's eyes went wide and she blushed in the darkness. "Zuko…"

"I don't know your feelings," he said hurriedly. "And I would not presume to know them either. But I…I felt that I had to be honest with you. I care very much for you, Katara."

Katara said nothing, and just as Zuko was considering getting up and leaving, she sighed softly. "I care very much for you too, Zuko," she said.

Zuko's heart thundered in his chest, and he sincerely hoped she couldn't hear it. "You…you do?" he asked, just to make sure he hadn't misheard her.

"I do," said Katara and met his gaze fiercely. "I don't know when it happened, but it did. I didn't realise it properly, not until I saw you take the lightning meant for me." Her hand touched his chest over his robes, and Zuko's heart gathered speed.

"What did you say?" asked Zuko, holding her hand to his chest. Katara looked at him in confusion. "Aang said that you kept saying something when I was unconscious."

Katara blushed and attempted to withdraw her hand, but Zuko's grip was steady.

"Please, Katara?" he asked.

"Come back to me, Zuko," she murmured.

Zuko looked confused for a moment and then realised that she was answering his question. His stomach swooped when he heard those soft words spoken in the stillness between them.

"I'll always come back to you, Katara," he promised fervently.

Katara's eyes were moist as she moved her hand from his chest to touch his cheek on the scarred side of his face. Zuko exhaled a shaky breath at her gentle touch that he had craved since the first time she had touched him like this. He leaned forward, glad when she didn't back away. It gave him the courage to keep going until his lips were finally touching hers in the way he had dreamed of, yet never thought possible.

The hand on his cheek grew surer and her lips parted under his, her tongue darting out to deepen the kiss of fire and ice between them. Zuko felt like he was drowning and burning at the same time at the sensation, as he welcomed her tongue into his mouth.

When they finally broke apart, Zuko could barely wait for some precious air before delving back to kiss her yet again. Instead of kissing her lips, he trailed kisses over her forehead, cheeks, eyelids and chin, and then finally claimed her mouth once more.

The days ahead would no doubt be some of the hardest of their lives. But the two young lovers cherished this quiet moment, knowing that whatever happened, they would always find their way back to each other.

It was only the truth, after all.


End file.
